How to get what you want

Sometimes the easiest way to get what you are after is simply to ask for it.

I recently posted an ad stating that I wanted a woman of a very specific physical type. As usual, I received quite a few responses. Many were from women who did not meet my standards and only three of them actually did. As I have stated before, my response rate is pretty high. I get about 10-15 emails per day and that is not counting spam. Fortunately my filters do a lot of the work for me. I am convinced that my writing style is one of the main reasons for the success of my ads. I routinely get compliments on how well written, funny, and unique my posts are. You must stand out in the crowd as there are thousands of guys using the personals. That's a lot of competition. Unfortunately for them, a lack of experience, low self esteem, or bruised ego often causes them to miss out on a lot of opportunities.

Back to the subject. One response in particular got my attention. To make a long story short, I had described this person's type so well that not only did she send me some very attractive pictures of herself, but her phone number also without ever even knowing what I look like. I called her and she insisted on meeting me as soon as possible, which ended up being about an hour and a half later. We met for drinks and what happened afterward I will leave to your imagination because I am not interested in writing Penthouse Forum articles. Let's just say that I did not get any sleep that night. It was a very long day after at work but well worth the sacrifice.

Try it! Figure out exactly what you want in a woman. Use your best grammar and describe her. Don't be crude. Be eloquent. Be risque. But don't make yourself sound like all of the other desperate guys.

Lessons 6-7

Lesson number six: Don't offer to buy things for her. That is unless you are looking for a gold digger. I see so many ads that make references to taking a girl somewhere and buying her dinner. First of all, why would you buy a complete stranger anything? I understand the whole chivalry concept and men instinctively wanting to demonstrate their ability to be a good provider but let's not put the cart in front of the horse. In this day and age few self-respecting women make the assumption that the guy always pays. Frankly, if you advertise yourself as a big spender you will attract gold diggers and impoverished women. I don't know about you but that's not what I'm looking for. If you hit it off and want to take her to dinner, that's fine. But throwing an open offer out there just makes you look desperate.

Lesson number seven: Be positive. Talking about how you get a bunch of spam and don't believe that there are any "Real" women in the forum does not help you. Complaining about your past relationships and experiences with online dating is detrimental to your success. No one wants to hang out with a loser.

Lessons 4-5

Lesson number four: Have a catchy title. I have posted the exact same ad multiple times and got zero or ten replies. Why? Think about a restaurant. What does the sign on the outside of the building say? Having never eaten there before does the sign make you want to go inside? Does it remind you of another place that you have eaten before? Well if that other place was good then you are more likely to give it a shot. But if that other restaurant was awful then you probably will look somewhere else for dinner.

This does mean that there is a certain amount of luck involved. Let's say that you are Italian. If you put "Italian..." in your title, then women with a preference for Italian men will be more likely to read your ad. But let's say that her last boyfriend was Italian and they broke up on bad terms. Maybe right now she has decided not to date another Italian guy. Now if you know women the way that I do, you already realize that what she's thinking at any particular moment does not guarantee that she will not do something completely contrary to it in the near future.

So how do we make this a win-win proposition and not miss out on the girls who might have a preference for Italian men? It's simple.

Lesson number five: Post multiple ads with different titles. While some sites have filters to prevent this from happening, it is easy enough to make a few changes here and there which will allow you to reach a much larger audience. In the online world, your title is your first impression. Make it (or them) a good one(s)!

Responses to my personal ads

I haven't changed anything other than the phone numbers to protect the girls' identities. Some of them aren't the best writers as you can see from the spelling errors but you get the idea:

"....I couldn't agree more! Tell me more about you!"

"I fit your pre-requisites..so shall we proceed?"

"Hello! I agree with everything you said below except I feel I'm
pretty cool girl and ready to take chances - so here I go. Michelle
555.6452. If you are interested I can send you a picture as well."

"Thank you for your sharing a bit about yourself. It's interesting how you can tell a little more about a person just by the way they write. I'm not a school teacher, but I appreciate someone who writes in full sentences, can spell and use good grammar. Watch me spell something wrong now that I've said that. :-) ..."

"hi i just wanted to say that you have a sweet ad on here. i wanted to know how old u are? Im 32. i will attach my current pic for u. Send me one back please."

"Hi,
I can just imagine what kind of response you got. It takes a while to sort
out all the spam and junk to get to the actual people on here.
A little about me: Tall, single, relatively happy with my life. I have a
job rather than a career, but I enjoy it well enough. Educated, and love to
have fun - that IS what personal time is for, after all.
Photo attached, waiting for yours."

"WELLi DON'T EAT STEAKbut I can make an omelet friends first n people do ten to project what they want onto someone.I'm thinking u may be a Virgo? talking on the phone may be better 4 going into things. I'm going to bed now' 555-7736 afternoon is good or evening,"

These are just some of the ones that came through this past weekend. My mailbox is literally exploding.