First off I want to update one very important piece of information. Over the last two months I have seen a decrease in the signal to noise ratio in the responses to my personal ads on CL. I am not getting fewer legitimate responses, just consistently more spam. Last year I would get roughly 40% real women responding. Now it is closer to 25%. That is a BIG difference. Setup those filters and follow my anti-spam posts if you want to save yourself a lot of time. The good news is that meeting 3-4 real, attractive, and qualified women per week is absolutely realistic. You'll just need to have the time to actually meet with them and...
Know what to do next
I'm gonna skip the email and telephone steps for now and write about that later. For those of you who have been asking, here it is... my game plan for the first date after finding a worthy prospect.
I advise against the traditional "date" as far as buying dinner or going to a movie because, well it's just kind of lame not to mention expensive at times. It also sets up way too many expectations for both people. Don't get me wrong. Buying a girl a drink when you meet up with her is fine. Just stay away from the idea that you have to pay for everything or plan some elaborate evening to impress her. The purpose of meeting is so that you can decide whether or not to proceed towards whatever your intended outcome may be. I don't care if you're looking for a girlfriend, a wife, or a one night stand. In the short term, you follow the same steps in order to become acquainted with her. My first meets run me about $25. They are short and sweet and in my experience leave her wanting more. This is a good thing.
Decide on a location. It can be a lounge, coffee shop, mall... whatever makes you feel comfortable. Just avoid noisy environments. Plan on spending up to an hour or so unless it seems imperative that you invest more time. It's ok and in fact preferable that you have other places to go and people to see and that is why you structure the meeting this way. You are a busy guy with important things to do. Next time you meet her (should you choose to) you may allow more time but don't wear out your welcome on the first night or make it seem like this is a big deal to you. Don't tell her that you are screening her but in fact you should be. By that I don't mean asking twenty questions about her background. Find out a little about her and talk about something that you feel passionately about. Some physical contact is good but don't take too many liberties. If she reciprocates, fine. Otherwise try to be aware of when it's a good time to back off. Make her laugh. A sense of humor is very attractive and eases the tension. I don't mean tell her a bunch of jokes but rather point out the funny things about life or your environment without coming across as negative. Trust me, women are nervous about first dates too whether they act like it or not. She may even behave in a standoffish way as a defense. Resist the temptation to act the same way toward her. Be assured and confident in yourself without acting cocky.
Cut the date short before she does. It's an old strategy but it works wonders to this day. Tell her that you really enjoyed her company and will contact her in the near future so that you can spend more time together.
Start thinking about what skills you possess that can be demonstrated on your next meeting. Are you a great dancer? Can you cook? Play an instrument? Next time you see her, make it in an environment where you can demonstrate this skill without looking like you are trying to show off...
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Even if one of them is a complete "dummy" ad that expects few or no responses. In fact, make one purposely bad and post it along with your legitimate ad. This will allow you to easily recognize the bots that automatically respond to every single post. When you see two responses in your mailbox that look identical, you can be certain that no one ever actually read what you posted and you can just hit the "This is Spam" button.