An email is worth a thousand words

Something interesting hit my inbox today. It was a response from an obviously real woman. One easy way to determine the authenticity of a reply is whether it came from a subscription based account. For example if you get something from a person with earthlink.net at the end of their address, chances are it's legit. The vast majority of gmail live.com and yahoo mail accounts are coming from e-whores. I'll cover this more later including more sophisticated ways to avoid them.

She sent a description, her picture, and as luck might have it her real name in the signature. Most of you already know this but google a person's name and you can learn a whole lot about them. That is if they are someone. Well turns out she is. I found out just a while ago that this was an oversight on her part. Sometimes it can be intentional though. There's a great article on why people can't seem to resist putting their real life info on everything that they do online. I'll try to find it later.

Anyways, long story short she works for a government agency. Not surprisingly, her salary information among other interesting details are all available to the public. She was very surprised that I knew her last name when we spoke on the phone. I did tell her how I knew and she didn't seem upset by it just a little surprised.

She is well educated and makes quite a good living. She could be the one!

Classic mistakes

I'm posting ads for a couple of friends at the moment. Right now there are just too many girls that I am following up with myself so I figured why not do my buddies a favor. Before putting up any ads I always browse the category and location to see what I'm up against. Never hurts to know your competition. It's interesting how most of the guys posting to CL make the same mistakes. Here's an example of what not to do and why. My comments in italics.

Title- My name is Eric whats yours?

How exciting. You have one shot at grabbing her attention and standing out in the crowd and you offer... your name. Ok I don't want to sound harsh but remember my post about the restaurant sign? Well unless she already knows who Eric is and why he is so cool NOBODY CARES! Your name will rarely attract or intrigue her unless you put some sort of creative spin on it. Use a headline that says something. (Ask me privately for examples.)

Body-

THIS IS A REAL AD.....

Really? As opposed to what a fake ad? But couldn't a fake ad say the same thing?

I am looking to find a cool girl that has the same interests as I do and I hope to hit it off with her as friends or more. I enjoy taking the boat to the lake, B.B.Q. ing, camping, off-roading, entertaining friends at the house, watching a good fight on t.v., bowling, beer, etc.

So far the best, if not most exciting part about your ad. If she got this far then the previous sentence will go over decent.

I am vey laid back not into crowds so much. Please respond with a photo thanks for taking the time to read my posting I hope to get a good response.

Well this last part doesn't really communicate anything but I suppose it serves as a courtesy. What is vey? Always spell check!

Here's where, despite this eloquently written masterpiece, ahem... he blows it completely.

NOTICE! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR WEB CAM, I WILL NOT GO TO ANY OTHER SITE TO CHAT WITH YOU, I WILL ONLY RESPOND TO EMAIL, I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A PROSTITUTE OR TO PAY MONEY FOR YOUR TIME, AND PLEASE SEND A PHOTO IF YOU RESPOND THANK YOU.

Ok dude word of advice. Never, and I mean never bitch about porn, hookers, cams or anything else that does not involve your REAL prospects. Bots don't read your messages so the only person who does is a girl who might be considering replying to you. What is the point of telling her how much you hate... well, anything? I am telling you from experience that virtually every post I have ever made containing this type of complaining gets little to no response from anyone except for spammers. Don't bother. Read my defeating spam post instead.

The first date

First off I want to update one very important piece of information. Over the last two months I have seen a decrease in the signal to noise ratio in the responses to my personal ads on CL. I am not getting fewer legitimate responses, just consistently more spam. Last year I would get roughly 40% real women responding. Now it is closer to 25%. That is a BIG difference. Setup those filters and follow my anti-spam posts if you want to save yourself a lot of time. The good news is that meeting 3-4 real, attractive, and qualified women per week is absolutely realistic. You'll just need to have the time to actually meet with them and...

Know what to do next

I'm gonna skip the email and telephone steps for now and write about that later. For those of you who have been asking, here it is... my game plan for the first date after finding a worthy prospect.

I advise against the traditional "date" as far as buying dinner or going to a movie because, well it's just kind of lame not to mention expensive at times. It also sets up way too many expectations for both people. Don't get me wrong. Buying a girl a drink when you meet up with her is fine. Just stay away from the idea that you have to pay for everything or plan some elaborate evening to impress her. The purpose of meeting is so that you can decide whether or not to proceed towards whatever your intended outcome may be. I don't care if you're looking for a girlfriend, a wife, or a one night stand. In the short term, you follow the same steps in order to become acquainted with her. My first meets run me about $25. They are short and sweet and in my experience leave her wanting more. This is a good thing.

Decide on a location. It can be a lounge, coffee shop, mall... whatever makes you feel comfortable. Just avoid noisy environments. Plan on spending up to an hour or so unless it seems imperative that you invest more time. It's ok and in fact preferable that you have other places to go and people to see and that is why you structure the meeting this way. You are a busy guy with important things to do. Next time you meet her (should you choose to) you may allow more time but don't wear out your welcome on the first night or make it seem like this is a big deal to you. Don't tell her that you are screening her but in fact you should be. By that I don't mean asking twenty questions about her background. Find out a little about her and talk about something that you feel passionately about. Some physical contact is good but don't take too many liberties. If she reciprocates, fine. Otherwise try to be aware of when it's a good time to back off. Make her laugh. A sense of humor is very attractive and eases the tension. I don't mean tell her a bunch of jokes but rather point out the funny things about life or your environment without coming across as negative. Trust me, women are nervous about first dates too whether they act like it or not. She may even behave in a standoffish way as a defense. Resist the temptation to act the same way toward her. Be assured and confident in yourself without acting cocky.

Cut the date short before she does. It's an old strategy but it works wonders to this day. Tell her that you really enjoyed her company and will contact her in the near future so that you can spend more time together.

Start thinking about what skills you possess that can be demonstrated on your next meeting. Are you a great dancer? Can you cook? Play an instrument? Next time you see her, make it in an environment where you can demonstrate this skill without looking like you are trying to show off...

Always post two ads simultaneousy (CL)

Even if one of them is a complete "dummy" ad that expects few or no responses. In fact, make one purposely bad and post it along with your legitimate ad. This will allow you to easily recognize the bots that automatically respond to every single post. When you see two responses in your mailbox that look identical, you can be certain that no one ever actually read what you posted and you can just hit the "This is Spam" button.

Lots of new stuff soon...

Hey people. I haven't taken a lot of time to blog lately not only due to the lack of time but also because I type slower than a WalMart cashier rings up merchandise. I'm getting a dictation program in a couple days so I will be able to do this a lot faster. Stay tuned...

Defeating spam

When you employ the techniques that I describe here probably the first thing that you will notice is spam. There is a ton of it on CL. The good news is that it's pretty easy to identify if not avoid altogether. While I can't publish all of my best ideas, tips and tricks for meeting the hottest women on the internet I will freely tell anyone who listens how to greatly reduce the amount of spam in their lives because I despise it so much... except when I employ it for my own personal gain. Yes, it's a double standard. Life is full of them. Get used to it.

Always post at least two ads at the same time from the same account. When you get two responses with the same content you will know that it's coming from someone who took no time to actually read your post. That means it's either a bot or someone who is replying to all ads, i.e. a guy working for a porn site or a girl who is desperate. None of which you are interested in.

Include a request for specific information in your ad. If it's a close call as to whether the responder is real, asking them to call you by name, reference something in your ad or simply answer a specific question will make it easy for you to tell if a real person actually read your ad or not.

Set up an auto responder. If you don't want all of your ads to sound the same you can always ask her to answer your questions after she replies. Mine says something along these lines:

Hey there! Thanks for replying. Before I can decide if you are the woman of my dreams or not I need to be absolutely certain that you are real. I'm an optimist so I hope that you are but before I tell you my life story...

You get the idea. You can even include a different email address in your auto responder that you actually use and let it "screen" your responses before you waste any time on junk mail. It's exactly what the spammers do. Beat them at their own game!

Gotta start cooking dinner for a hot Brazilian Babe. I'll be back with more later.

When she replies without a photo

"Who is the girl with no pictures that replied to me? She must be ugly"

Don't be so certain about that. I have met a lot of hot girls who just wanted to be discreet.

I realize now after many conversations with women whom I've met on CL why it is so much easier to work than the paid (and even free) personals. A lot of females do not want to post their picture online in this context. Most paid personal services require that you submit a clear photo of your face. Not only that, you also have to spend a good hour or so completing a profile form. For the person who is just "experimenting" this is just too much of an investment. Remember that women like to try new things and "see what happens." Going through the application and submission process for a personal service is a solid commitment that says "I am lonely and I can't find a man in the real world." Replying to ads on Craigslist without a picture is not only anonymous but also perfect for the whole "If it's meant to be..." mindset.

"So how do I find out what she looks like without wasting a lot of time?"

Well, if you subscribe to my newsletter you already know the answer to this one. If not I suggest you sign up today for the only newsletter written specifically for meeting attractive girls on CL. Just send an email to greatpersonalads@gmail.com

Posting a photo in your ad

I have to run here in a few. It's Friday night and tomorrow is Valentine's Day! I've got a relatively small amount of time to come up with some unique gift ideas.

A lot of people make a mad rush to find a date for February 14th. It is a great opportunity to meet single (lonely) women. Let me add that the few days after Valentine's are excellent also as some of them never found Prince Charming and will only be reminded of their solitude by this holiday. That means that if you are still looking for a woman the day after tomorrow, there will be plenty who are still very available. Keep on posting!

A lot of people have been asking me about what kind of photo to include in their ad/profile. The answer varies but I will answer the question in a way that everyone should be able to understand. Figure out what category you fit into and then take the appropriate action:

Good looking guys - Post a picture of yourself! Unless you are afraid that someone you know might see you there is no reason not to use your appearance to your advantage. Don't use the one with your ex-girlfriend or mom in it. Activity shots, like you riding your dirt bike, hang gliding, or at the beach are great just as long as they can make out your face or other attractive feature(s). If you don't have anything like that handy, just put up a picture that does clearly show off your handsomeness. I want to discourage you from posing shirtless unless that is appropriate for the setting. In other words, if you are swimming ok. If it's you in your house, posing shirtless comes off as if you are trying too hard. Wearing clothing that flatters your physique is fine but try to avoid looking like you want to audition for Chippendales. Another problem you will encounter is that some girls will think that you are just another member of the meat market looking to get laid. It can even intimidate the one's who aren't happy with their own bodies - most of the female population.

Average looking guys - The advice that I give you is the same as what I tell the more unattractive guys. Don't post your photo. There are millions of average guys in the world trying to get a date. You will almost always be immediately disqualified because you are not exceptional. My challenge is exactly that. I do not look like a CK model. Some girls find me attractive but many do not when they look at my pictures. The good news is that once I give them the opportunity to find out how cool I am and what makes me so different than the majority of guys out there, then and only then will they be ready to see the man behind the words. By that time, they are already more concerned with who I am rather than how perfect my face is so all that becomes far less important. I can't tell you how many times girls have told me that they didn't think of me "that way" until we had a little conversation.

"But don't ads with pictures get way more responses?"

Yes, to be accurate they do get more views. Ultimately they will get more responses if you choose the right picture. Which is why it is crucial that you do post a photo.

"Well if I shouldn't post a picture of my ugly mug then I'm finished?"

Well, I said post a picture. That doesn't mean that it has to be a picture of you! I get about 20 emails per day when I have my ads up. When I post without any pictures I get one or two. The math is simple. For my posts I use a lot of landscapes, clouds, and other female friendly photos. Some I took myself, others I found surfing the internet. What photo you select says a lot about you. Choose wisely. One she clicks on your ad, you have her attention. At that point the body of your message becomes the next deciding factor. I'll get into that later...

If you do post your picture, don't post the ones from ten years ago when you still had hair and no beer belly. You are only setting yourself up for rejection when she realizes that you are basically a fake.

As a last bit of advice for today, remember what type of woman you want to attract. For example if you like cowgirls then don't dress like a metrosexual.

Eventually she will ask for your picture after you have communicated a bit. My next post will cover that...

Taking my ads down

I haven't posted here in a while because I simply have not had the time. I have dated more women in the last six months than I did last year. At this point I have too many women and not enough time. The internet is an amazing thing if you know how to use it. I also won't be posting here as much to protect the effectiveness of my posting techniques. If you want to get the inside info on what I'm not telling the public you will want to subscribe to my free newsletter. Drop me a line at greatpersonalads@gmail.com and I will add you. I am also working on an e-book that should be available within the next few weeks. Only the subscribers to my newsletter will be able to order it for the time being.