Monday, May 31, 2010

"The thing I miss most is sex."

Thursday night I met a girl for dinner. I don't like doing dinner dates the first time meeting someone normally. The exception for this is when it will fulfill her requirements of justification. (I will talk about this concept in a separate post.) In this situation it was the best course of action. After using my specific description post on Craig's list I met another woman who is exactly my "type." Well one of my types anyways. There was the usual smalltalk back and forth via e-mail and then we actually chatted on IM which is something that I usually don't do either. Due to the geographic limitations caused by her living a good hour and a half from me I decided that I would rather invest some time chatting with her then drive that far and end up disappointed.

During the instant messaging there was some light sex themed conversation however it never got too detailed nor too personal. The most important thing about the conversation was a statement that she made. I made a remark in regards to her enthusiasm and her response was "Is it that obvious?" At that point it actually was obvious and she was admitting to being very anxious to meet me. While photos are one thing a woman's motivations often come more from the state that she feels at any particular moment. The state of this woman was lonely.

So we meet in the restaurant. As usual I insisted that she sit next to me at the table rather than across from me. I told her about how in some cultures sitting across from someone at a table is considered confrontational. I was not in the mood for confrontation. During the meal we started talking about dating after ending a relationship. She told me she had been divorced for awhile. Then she proceeded to tell me that the thing that she missed most about dating or being in a relationship was sex. It was an obvious statement so shortly after we went back to my place.

I wish that I could transcribe the entire conversation from beginning to end. But even if I could I have to say that I wouldn't make it public. I respect privacy and expect it. So notice that there were two things that happened both being indications of her loneliness and craving for intimate companionship. Outside of that I can't say that I did anything spectacular in the way of seduction. There was the usual minor resistance that one would encounter when being with a woman for the first time. I typically treat this with disinterest initially and then with slow minor advances. If she wants to make up her mind to do something she will on her own. I don't believe in any sort of coercion and have never observed a scene where it would be helpful.

I'll spare you the graphic details and hopefully I've gleaned some useful information for you from my experience. I'm working on something that should make everyone's online dating experience more productive. Keep an eye on upcoming posts.

Friday, May 7, 2010

"It's whats inside that counts"

Last week I tried something for the first time. After posting Part 2 on my blog I had a thought. Have you noticed how women often look a lot better in photos than they do in person? Well of course the skilled hands of a photographer make all the difference in the world sooo...

I happened to know someone who takes pictures for a living. I traded him a brief photo shoot for some dating advice and decided to experiment. For the first time ever, I posted a real photo of myself in the Craigslist personals.

If you've read my earlier blog posts you already know that I strongly discourage this for many different reasons. First off unless you are exceptionally good looking, you are putting your cards on the table before she gets to know you. No matter how cool a guy you are, if a woman decides that she's not attracted to you based on looks you are in for a steep climb my friends. Secondly, you risk having people that you know thinking that you are desperate for a date. As far as that goes I could care less and so should you but you may have other things to consider like your employer, clergy or maybe a wife or girlfriend (shame on you, lol) finding out. That could make ones life difficult especially if you are married. Third and most important in my opinion is the fact that you are kind of limited as far as multiple posts go. I doubt you will get many replies if they notice that you are spamming CL.

So all that considered, here's what I did. First I got a really flattering picture of myself. Remember I am basically an average looking guy. Next I did some touching up. Hey women do it all the time on their Facebook pages so why shouldn't we? There's a pretty cool photo editing site that is free where you can upload and fix your photos without having to get a damned college degree to use it like you would with photoshop. (Okay I'm not that smart either.) The site is called Check it out. They have a $5 per month memebership that lets you get some cool advanced editing features too.

So after I had removed some wrinkles, gave myself a bit of a tan and softened the image my results were amazing. I looked like I could have been in a magazine! I was still quite recognizably myself though and wanted to remain anonymous. Posting in another location seemed like the best way to test my results without having any of my small town friends find me. I chose two distant cities and posted two of my better ads...

What happened next will surprise you. I will tell you next week so now lets talk about what to do on the second date... HAHA, just kidding! I won't do that to you this time.

I got two real responses within a few hours along with the usual amount of spam. One was actually kind of rude. I used my "Requirement" ad and the response I got was from someone who felt that I should basically lower my standards and not be so shallow. "After all it's what is on the inside that counts." Uhuh, hmmm... I got lucky and easily cross referenced her email to the FB account of one very chunky, very homely single girl from Dallas. What a surprise eh?

The second response, from a different ad, was from a very cute girl next door type from Ohio. She took the time to answer all of my questions and write in great detail about herself including the fact that she was 5'9" and did not play basketball. I had mentioned liking tall girls in the ad. Wow, I'm looking at her pic right now. If only I wasn't so far away...

But alas, I am not setting out to break any hearts. I pulled the ads right away. My experiment had gone far enough. I know what I am capable of.

Anyhow for whatever it's worth I hope that you find this information helpful in your search(s). Get a great photo of yourself, follow my guidelines for posting and I am confident that you will see some results. Feel free to write me about your experiences and if you consent to it I will post some of them here.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

My date with a celebrity Part 2

I can't believe that it's been almost a month since I posted. From now on you have my word that posts will be more frequent. It's a little hard to juggle life, work and chasing women let alone writing about it but I will do my best...

I am getting pretty good at predicting how any particular meet might go after talking to a woman on the phone for a few minutes. It really is amazing how much you can learn about someone in a short period of time if you pay attention. The problem for a lot of guys is that paying attention to her can be a difficult thing when you are nervous, preoccupied, trying too hard to impress her or otherwise just screwing things up. It will get easier with time and experience I promise you. I will also write up some posts regarding female psychology soon. Hang in there if you are having a hard time with it. The payoff is well worth the effort!

So where were we? I believe I left off just before my date with a local celebrity so here goes:

I had sent my phone number to "Liza" after a few brief emails. As I mentioned previously my CL posting was for a very specific physical type and she had replied with photos and "I have to find out what you are about." Good sign. At this point I had to continue demonstrating my preference for her type while keeping my "game on" in light of her accomplishments.

I spoke to her briefly (small talk) and suggested that we meet the following evening. She asked me what I was doing tonight since she was busy tomorrow night. While I do recommend not being too available or easy, let me note that when a woman wants to a) see you b) kiss you c) sleep with you it is in your best interest to cooperate if you are interested in her. There are some exceptions to this rule but remember another thing about Craigslist women- they are lonely. (That means horny too.)

I told her that I would make some time and suggested a place close to my house where I knew a lot of people. It's great when everyone knows your name as long as they aren't the type to get you in trouble with other girls...

I recognized her and waved her over when she came in. I had purposely started a conversation with a very attractive cocktail waitress friend of mine. Being seen with hot girls is always a good thing as it gives you credibility and puts otherwise apprehensive women at ease. Do this whenever possible. As a matter of fact, you know that one hot girl that just wants to be friends? She is perfect for this role.

So I offer to get the first round and she orders tequila. Sweet, it's gonna be a great night! "Patron please" Oops. I almost spilled my own drink. $15 bucks a shot. Ok this better go really well and I have to get her out of there ASAP at least to a place that won't drain my wallet in record time.

We sat down and chatted for a bit. Most of the conversation is of little consequence other than the factors which led to us having a whole lot of fun which I will describe briefly.

1. During our conversation a girl at the next table over gave me a compliment on my shoes. Dress sharp! It helps.

2. At one point in the conversation she implied that she could have any guy that she wanted. I told her that this was not the case with me and she took it the wrong way. Usually women like her see this as a challenge. She did not and instead told me that we would not be having sex anytime soon. I had to backpedal in order to make it happen.

To this day I am not sure if the latter was a result of her not having as much self esteem as I had assumed or if she wanted to demonstrate that she was in control. Either way the correct course of action was for me to apologize for being so cocky which she accepted graciously. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride to make progress. I've been around way too long to be stubborn.

After another shot of tequila and the tab ($75 with tip) we were off to my place.

I hope that the reader will not be disappointed that there is no Penthouse forum ending here. In fact I had the most phenomenal sex that I have ever had in my life that night. However, I want this blog to remain PG and do not wish to risk compromising my or anyone's lurid details. Let me just say that I experienced things I'd never done before that night and I have always considered myself worldly when it comes to sex. Wow! Simply unforgettable. We didn't sleep that night despite the fact that I had to work the next day. I was a total zombie at the job but it was more than worth it. Good thing I don't operate heavy machinery.

I have to say that this woman knew how to play the game as well as if not better than anyone I've ever met before. The next day she had sent me some pictures of herself in the nude (without her face showing.) Very hot. I purposely didn't call her for a few days but only texted instead. For whatever reason she wasn't as enthusiastic with her responses after day 3 and I had another date set up. Long story short we lost contact and both got involved with other people for a few weeks. Once I was ready to see her again she was already in a relationship. Not what I'm looking for but if I was I'd have to say that she would have been a candidate. We are still friends on a popular social network so that's interesting. So is the fact that I found her nude pics a weeks ago while surfing for porn. Don't ask where because you know that I'm not going to divulge that info. Any other questions I will be happy to answer here so ask away.

Until next time...