Friday, February 13, 2009

Posting a photo in your ad

I have to run here in a few. It's Friday night and tomorrow is Valentine's Day! I've got a relatively small amount of time to come up with some unique gift ideas.

A lot of people make a mad rush to find a date for February 14th. It is a great opportunity to meet single (lonely) women. Let me add that the few days after Valentine's are excellent also as some of them never found Prince Charming and will only be reminded of their solitude by this holiday. That means that if you are still looking for a woman the day after tomorrow, there will be plenty who are still very available. Keep on posting!

A lot of people have been asking me about what kind of photo to include in their ad/profile. The answer varies but I will answer the question in a way that everyone should be able to understand. Figure out what category you fit into and then take the appropriate action:

Good looking guys - Post a picture of yourself! Unless you are afraid that someone you know might see you there is no reason not to use your appearance to your advantage. Don't use the one with your ex-girlfriend or mom in it. Activity shots, like you riding your dirt bike, hang gliding, or at the beach are great just as long as they can make out your face or other attractive feature(s). If you don't have anything like that handy, just put up a picture that does clearly show off your handsomeness. I want to discourage you from posing shirtless unless that is appropriate for the setting. In other words, if you are swimming ok. If it's you in your house, posing shirtless comes off as if you are trying too hard. Wearing clothing that flatters your physique is fine but try to avoid looking like you want to audition for Chippendales. Another problem you will encounter is that some girls will think that you are just another member of the meat market looking to get laid. It can even intimidate the one's who aren't happy with their own bodies - most of the female population.

Average looking guys - The advice that I give you is the same as what I tell the more unattractive guys. Don't post your photo. There are millions of average guys in the world trying to get a date. You will almost always be immediately disqualified because you are not exceptional. My challenge is exactly that. I do not look like a CK model. Some girls find me attractive but many do not when they look at my pictures. The good news is that once I give them the opportunity to find out how cool I am and what makes me so different than the majority of guys out there, then and only then will they be ready to see the man behind the words. By that time, they are already more concerned with who I am rather than how perfect my face is so all that becomes far less important. I can't tell you how many times girls have told me that they didn't think of me "that way" until we had a little conversation.

"But don't ads with pictures get way more responses?"

Yes, to be accurate they do get more views. Ultimately they will get more responses if you choose the right picture. Which is why it is crucial that you do post a photo.

"Well if I shouldn't post a picture of my ugly mug then I'm finished?"

Well, I said post a picture. That doesn't mean that it has to be a picture of you! I get about 20 emails per day when I have my ads up. When I post without any pictures I get one or two. The math is simple. For my posts I use a lot of landscapes, clouds, and other female friendly photos. Some I took myself, others I found surfing the internet. What photo you select says a lot about you. Choose wisely. One she clicks on your ad, you have her attention. At that point the body of your message becomes the next deciding factor. I'll get into that later...

If you do post your picture, don't post the ones from ten years ago when you still had hair and no beer belly. You are only setting yourself up for rejection when she realizes that you are basically a fake.

As a last bit of advice for today, remember what type of woman you want to attract. For example if you like cowgirls then don't dress like a metrosexual.

Eventually she will ask for your picture after you have communicated a bit. My next post will cover that...