Catchy headline- Do you need one?

This applies to just about any personals site. I recommend that you use one or more of the free sites since most of the subscription based ones are full of fake profiles. A lot of them also censor your profile. I tried a couple of them quite a while back and one of the most frustrating things about the likes of Match, Yahoo personals, eharmony, etc. was that they just didn't get my sense of humor. The other thing that I noticed was the huge amount of fake female profiles. I don't want to say how I figured it out because that would allow them to take further steps to mislead tens of thousands of men into believing that the pictures you see in their advertisements are real women. Anyways, take my word for this:

Rule #1-attractive women don't need to pay to meet men but a lot of them will try a free site just for the hell of it.


A lot of what I have read places great emphasis on having a catchy headline. In my experience however this is not a big deal. The reason given for having a great headline is because it will "Get her attention." This absolutely works on Craigslist when we post in the M4W section because it's easy for a casual user to wander into that section in the same way that women like to go shopping. However when it comes to personals sites things seem to work a bit differently. While it might be true that some women do look through dating site profiles trying to find a date, it appears to be much less common here. From what I have seen and heard, the fact that you can be contacted once you have created a profile radically changes the dynamic. Once a cute girl posts her picture she will be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of guys trying to talk to her. No need to browse profiles unless... no one is trying to contact her! (See rule #1) Attractive women will take the time to create a profile because let's face it, this is a self indulging activity. But once she submits her profile hordes of men will be trying to get her attention. I am not saying that there aren't a few worthy women out there looking but they are the exception rather than the rule. Play the numbers and concentrate on a quality profile and first contact email. Don't sweat the headline too much. It is overrated.

If you are at a loss for ideas, google quotes from songs that you like, famous people, or philosophers. Try to choose something that won't put anyone off but something that you agree with. Remember it's not a big deal but in the interest of results I suggest that you choose something with a positive message, inspiration, or "seize the day" theme. It's hard for anyone to have a problem with this kind of stuff. If she does, you probably wouldn't want to meet her anyways.

Plenty of Fish Update

In the last week I have met up with four VERY attractive women from plenty of fish. While the success ratio for going from email to meeting up is about the same as Craigslist, the spam to real female ratio is 1,000 times better! In fact I've had a near perfect record when it comes to NOT being contacted by bots/guys posing as women. If you haven't already done so, get to work on your profile now! You can duplicate it on OKCupid so you'll be on two sites for the price of one... F.R.E.E.

For those of you who prefer the anonymity of Craigslist I understand completely. Just know that crossing over the line and posting a profile with your photo can potentially multiply your success rate like you wouldn't believe. If you happen to be one of those who does not photograph well then you might not want to go this route but... if there is any doubt in your mind or you don't want local girls to see you on a dating site just try posting in a different location. It's worth a try and if you get good results you might decide to post closer to home. Consider it practice at the very least.

I'm working on an outline that will help you put together an effective profile if you don't already have one. It's easy for me to write about myself but creating a sort of "template" for others to work from is a little bit tricky since I don't know the person that will be writing it. I'm going to spend some time identifying what seems to be working consistently so that others will be able to duplicate my method for POF and OKCupid. In the mean time you should at least open accounts at both sites and get familiar with the features that they offer. Between this and Craigslist you will be able to meet more women than you have time for. More coming soon...

No more verification widget

Just a quick note guys:

I removed the protected content widget so that no one has to fill out any forms to access the blog at least for the time being. I have also added a newsletter form at the top right hand section of the page. Anything that I feel is of significant value to a limited number of users will now be delivered via email instead of being posted here. To make a long story short too much public knowledge of my methods will make them less effective. Therefore if you haven't already done so, sign up for my newsletter today!

Vegetarians

Wow women can be strange. Ok let's be fair so can men but in different ways...

Last week I followed up on an email from a woman not too far from where I am. Her picture looked great, she passed my spam check and everything seemed to be going fine until we started joking around. She made a reference to the amount of spam (the meat) consumed by Hawaiians in relation to the amount of email spam on Craigslist. I told her that I just so happened to be eating Hawaiian BBQ for dinner. She asked if I was kidding or just trying to make conversation and I should have picked up on the hint. No I wasn't kidding, I really was having Lau Lau Pork and rice for dinner. I didn't hear from her until the next day when she told me that we probably wouldn't get along since she is a vegetarian. Ooops I guess I should have caught that earlier. I don't care what she eats and it literally made me laugh when I heard her say that. Anyways whatever but there is a lesson to be learned here. Pay attention to the subtle stuff. When she says "Are you really X, or were you just kidding?" It's probably better to be kidding at least for the moment.

A wise friend once told me something that has helped me over the last ten years. If you have bad habits or things that she might find unattractive keep them to yourself until sleep with her. At that point she will rationalize why it's ok. Before that they will act as a deterrent. Women are very good at this by the way. You rarely find out about her problems until later on. If it's ok for them to conceal unattractive qualities then why shouldn't we?

Stupid e-whores

Geez I can't believe how obvious these guys are. This is one of the lamest attempts at internet marketing that I've ever seen:

#SENDER_FNAME# I'm glad you mailed me back. I was worried that you were just another spam bot on CL. Anyway, Im actually sending this from my new blackberry at my friends house cause my stupid internet is out right now. So, Im sorry if I dont answer your questions right away, but Im still getting used to using this thing. But...Yes, Im real, and Im excited for a few days off from work. Im a curvy Italian girl who loves sex, I have a great phone sex voice, lol. I live alone in a condo close to downtown. What Im looking for is someone to have a few drinks with and then hopefully that will lead to a lot more erotic stuff. Im into handcuffs, being spanked and I love watching dirty videos. Although, some tame stuff can be good too. I'm actually off of work today till Febuary 16th so Im wanting to hook up soon. Mabey we could meet at my place for a few drinks sometime this week?

I approach dating just like I approach sex, safely. Better to be protected cause who knows whats out there. So heres your invite here Its NOT a dating site. It only has real peoples phone numbers and addresses. Plus, doesnt charge you, which is good cause Im still broke from my sisters birthday lol! My cell number is listed so give me a ring or send a text. Id prefer a call cause hearing your voice would be way better. Plus, I dont have internet at home, so I cant email back and forth later on, just call me. Lets get something going, its been a while for me. Looking forward to hearing your voice :)
- Jessica

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

As you can see he screwed up his wordspin program by including some of the coding "#SENDER_FNAME#" which is supposed to insert a name automatically. Secondly the "I am real" part is a dead giveaway indicating that he is not a real female. Then of course the inevitable "So heres your invite here Its NOT a dating site." Um right. Why would I got to a site rather than contacting you directly? Nice touch there at the end though trying to make it look like you posted from your Blackberry... except that kinda eliminates the problem of not having internet at home though huh? Do guys really fall for this stuff? Maybe I'm in the wrong business.

"The thing I miss most is sex."

Thursday night I met a girl for dinner. I don't like doing dinner dates the first time meeting someone normally. The exception for this is when it will fulfill her requirements of justification. (I will talk about this concept in a separate post.) In this situation it was the best course of action. After using my specific description post on Craig's list I met another woman who is exactly my "type." Well one of my types anyways. There was the usual smalltalk back and forth via e-mail and then we actually chatted on IM which is something that I usually don't do either. Due to the geographic limitations caused by her living a good hour and a half from me I decided that I would rather invest some time chatting with her then drive that far and end up disappointed.

During the instant messaging there was some light sex themed conversation however it never got too detailed nor too personal. The most important thing about the conversation was a statement that she made. I made a remark in regards to her enthusiasm and her response was "Is it that obvious?" At that point it actually was obvious and she was admitting to being very anxious to meet me. While photos are one thing a woman's motivations often come more from the state that she feels at any particular moment. The state of this woman was lonely.

So we meet in the restaurant. As usual I insisted that she sit next to me at the table rather than across from me. I told her about how in some cultures sitting across from someone at a table is considered confrontational. I was not in the mood for confrontation. During the meal we started talking about dating after ending a relationship. She told me she had been divorced for awhile. Then she proceeded to tell me that the thing that she missed most about dating or being in a relationship was sex. It was an obvious statement so shortly after we went back to my place.

I wish that I could transcribe the entire conversation from beginning to end. But even if I could I have to say that I wouldn't make it public. I respect privacy and expect it. So notice that there were two things that happened both being indications of her loneliness and craving for intimate companionship. Outside of that I can't say that I did anything spectacular in the way of seduction. There was the usual minor resistance that one would encounter when being with a woman for the first time. I typically treat this with disinterest initially and then with slow minor advances. If she wants to make up her mind to do something she will on her own. I don't believe in any sort of coercion and have never observed a scene where it would be helpful.

I'll spare you the graphic details and hopefully I've gleaned some useful information for you from my experience. I'm working on something that should make everyone's online dating experience more productive. Keep an eye on upcoming posts.

"It's whats inside that counts"

Last week I tried something for the first time. After posting Part 2 on my blog I had a thought. Have you noticed how women often look a lot better in photos than they do in person? Well of course the skilled hands of a photographer make all the difference in the world sooo...

I happened to know someone who takes pictures for a living. I traded him a brief photo shoot for some dating advice and decided to experiment. For the first time ever, I posted a real photo of myself in the Craigslist personals.

If you've read my earlier blog posts you already know that I strongly discourage this for many different reasons. First off unless you are exceptionally good looking, you are putting your cards on the table before she gets to know you. No matter how cool a guy you are, if a woman decides that she's not attracted to you based on looks you are in for a steep climb my friends. Secondly, you risk having people that you know thinking that you are desperate for a date. As far as that goes I could care less and so should you but you may have other things to consider like your employer, clergy or maybe a wife or girlfriend (shame on you, lol) finding out. That could make ones life difficult especially if you are married. Third and most important in my opinion is the fact that you are kind of limited as far as multiple posts go. I doubt you will get many replies if they notice that you are spamming CL.

So all that considered, here's what I did. First I got a really flattering picture of myself. Remember I am basically an average looking guy. Next I did some touching up. Hey women do it all the time on their Facebook pages so why shouldn't we? There's a pretty cool photo editing site that is free where you can upload and fix your photos without having to get a damned college degree to use it like you would with photoshop. (Okay I'm not that smart either.) The site is called picnik.com. Check it out. They have a $5 per month memebership that lets you get some cool advanced editing features too.

So after I had removed some wrinkles, gave myself a bit of a tan and softened the image my results were amazing. I looked like I could have been in a magazine! I was still quite recognizably myself though and wanted to remain anonymous. Posting in another location seemed like the best way to test my results without having any of my small town friends find me. I chose two distant cities and posted two of my better ads...

What happened next will surprise you. I will tell you next week so now lets talk about what to do on the second date... HAHA, just kidding! I won't do that to you this time.

I got two real responses within a few hours along with the usual amount of spam. One was actually kind of rude. I used my "Requirement" ad and the response I got was from someone who felt that I should basically lower my standards and not be so shallow. "After all it's what is on the inside that counts." Uhuh, hmmm... I got lucky and easily cross referenced her email to the FB account of one very chunky, very homely single girl from Dallas. What a surprise eh?

The second response, from a different ad, was from a very cute girl next door type from Ohio. She took the time to answer all of my questions and write in great detail about herself including the fact that she was 5'9" and did not play basketball. I had mentioned liking tall girls in the ad. Wow, I'm looking at her pic right now. If only I wasn't so far away...

But alas, I am not setting out to break any hearts. I pulled the ads right away. My experiment had gone far enough. I know what I am capable of.

Anyhow for whatever it's worth I hope that you find this information helpful in your search(s). Get a great photo of yourself, follow my guidelines for posting and I am confident that you will see some results. Feel free to write me about your experiences and if you consent to it I will post some of them here.