How to meet women on Facebook

Besides using free dating websites and Craigslist to meet girls I have recently started using social network site too. While these are a great resource for fining women it is a bit different than the formerly mention sources. What is so different about Facebook? Well for one thing you will see a lot of women who are attractive but have not gone there to meet someone. When you are on a dating site you have a good idea of why the women are there. Well of course some want to hook up while others are looking for something more serious and long term but you get the idea.

Anyways the good news is that if and when you become friends with someone on Facebook you will more than likely be able to see their relationship status and decide whether or not to pursue that person or move on to the next. So the steps are rather straightforward. Find cute girl, become friends, ask her out. Okay so how exactly do we go about this? Your methods may be different but here is an example of something I have been doing lately with good results. I'll use an interesting case here because I think that you might find it entertaining.

Last week I was going through random Facebook accounts looking for hot girls. As soon as I found one I noticed that she had shared her musical tastes and recognized an obscure artist that I am familiar with. You don't have to do the same thing but it helps if you are familiar with or familiarize yourself with something that she like but that most other people could not appreciate. So I sent her a friend request stating that "If you like [artist’s name] then you rock. I thought that I was the only one!"

By a stroke of good luck she happened to be online and replied back right away. For the record I try to send messages during prime time as immediate responses often occur and I have a "hot" lead instead of one that she thought about for a day or two. So she replied that her dad loved that artist and she grew up listening to him etc. She also accepted my friend request and I got to see some very sexy pictures that she had on her profile. So we message back and forth for a bit and then she drops the bomb and tells me that she is an entertainer. I'm thinking she's a stripper but no, it's more than that. It turns out that she is an adult actor.

Well that was a first for me and honestly I still haven't decided what I want to do. She acts more than willing to meet up but I'm just not sure if that's something that I'd be into, pun intended. Strange things do happen on the internet and what makes it so difficult is that she is really attractive. I will have to think about this one for a while...

Offline dating

Since I started this blog I have primarily focused on meeting women through the internet. While this is one of the easiest ways to hook up I don't want to ignore the obvious which is meeting women in everyday situations. There is plenty of material available for how to pick up girls in bars and clubs if you search for it. You will have to spend a lot of time sorting out the junk from the good stuff but it is out there. What I see a lack of is quality information on how to meet women under circumstances that do not require some formal type of social gathering.

Since I just posted a couple of tips on another blog I figure that the least I can do is reference it here so that none of my readers miss out. Think of these as tools which you can use to help meet women in public places. Not a complete method but some ideas that will pay off if you employ them in the right situation. I will update this page as I think of them.

Good gimmicks for attracting women in the supermarket.

1. Go through the cute cashiers line with all of the ingredients for sushi or something else that is popular but few people know how to prepare.

She will almost definitely make a comment about what you are making. If you know how to cook this is great. If not then you should definitely learn. Having a woman over for a meal that you prepared is an aphrodisiac in itself. You will have to find a way to continue the conversation when she has a spare minute or you run into her again but from now on you will be known as the "guy who makes sushi". This is good.

2. If you can't find a cute girl at the check stand, find one on the sales floor. Ask her where some exotic ingredient is located because you need it for some gourmet dish that you are preparing. Choose something popular that most people love. Watch her eyes dilate as she thinks about the dish that you describe.

I do this a lot using shrimp scampi or a desert containing chocolate.

3. Make a funny observation. "Why does every store always put the tuna on the bottom shelf?"

Okay I know that the last one isn't that funny but it can start a conversation. See what you can come up with.

Create your own survey

After my "Lose weight while you date" adventure I thought that maybe I should tone the idea down a bit while still aiming for a way to encourage participation from those who read my ads. Now getting someone interested in using sex to stay in shape borders on the casual encounter category which is something that I want to stay away from for a few reasons. The foremost being that there are a lot of guys posing as women in that section and also because I am not looking specifically for random "hook up sex."

Because I did get a lot of replies however I decided that something similar might be a good idea. Currently I have ads posted that incorporate a survey into the post. The titles are similar to "Answer these correctly and win a dream date" to "Female dating opinion wanted" and everything in between. These are not the exact titles that I used but you get the idea. Now in the body of the post I have asked several questions that are of interest to me. Topics include preferences in music, food, entertainment, etc. I ask a few key questions that aren't too invasive but will give me an idea of what type of girl I am dealing with like "What do you think about public displays of affection?" or "Are you here looking for a relationship, casual dating, or whatever happens?" Things that allow her to tell as much as she likes.

I always request a photo at the end of the post since this amount of time invested makes it likely to be ok with her. Right now I have a few of these running so I can't give them away word for word but use your imagination. There is plenty of room for creativity here.

Dating Tips First Date

Online dating articles can have some strange things to say about what you should expect from the first date. I've read so much about first date advice for men that I could write an encyclopedia on the subject. Well it feels like that anyways. Now why would I, the guy who has way more women than he can juggle at the moment need first date advice? To make a long story short I didn't. I've known how to handle a first date since high school. What I did need though was some dating advice for people who have been in a long term relationship and want to find a date. That was the dating advice that I was looking for. The first date advice was something that I read just because it was there... and it was entertaining to say the least. See? I told you that I'd make it a short answer.

So while I was looking for ways to meet more women, I had the benefit of reading a whole bunch of bad first date advice that came along with it. People who had watched way too many movies were telling me what to wear, how to avoid the wrong conversational topics and so on. At the time a lot of this dating advice might have had some relevance but that was before I started meeting women online.

So what's different about meeting women online as opposed to meeting women in everyday real life situations? Intent. That is the easiest answer that I can give you. Most people will tell you that you "Never know when you might meet that special someone..." Well I do! I'm going to meet special someones when I choose to. It's like a singles bar at my desktop and women who want to hookup are standing in line to meet guys who have a little bit of game.

I'm not going to write extensively about what to do on your first date but here are some easy to implement guidelines:

1. Don't think of it as a "date"

We are talking about women from Craigslist here. They want companionship and sex. Forget about touring the city or going horseback riding or whatever the hell it is people do on "dates". Go somewhere for a drink and some conversation.

2. Stay close to home.

What if she makes it clear that she wants to be alone with you? It happens. More than you might expect. Be prepared. The last thing you need is a 30 minute drive when she's in the mood.

3. Sit next to her if possible.

Staring across a table at someone is confrontational. If she acts funny about it at all just tell her that this is not an interview and you prefer side by side. If she puts up a lot of resistance you are already heading down the wrong path. Hopefully she's just strong willed but try to stay in charge without acting bossy. Besides, this will allow you to...

4. Touch her

Not in a creepy cop-a-feel way but casually. Start out with non invasive areas like her shoulder (the one closest to you) and her outer arm. Some of you are naturals at judging how far to go and when but if not be sure to respect her space but only as far as she wants you to. This can become a complex topic. Maybe I will do a separate post on this altogether.

5. Make her feel safe

Women like sex but they want to have it with someone who isn't going to hurt or stalk them. Tell her about how much you like animals or that you had a friend with a crazy stalker girlfriend. Don't tell her that your ex was stalking you. That could be scary for her. Communicate your "normalness". Once she trusts you it will be time to ramp up.

6. Escalate

Once you have had some casual conversation (an interesting one that is, none of the so-how-do-you-like-your-job? stuff) get closer to the point. Tell her about how you can judge a person by the way they kiss or does she want to see your (insert really interesting or unique object here) that you have at your place down the street. Give her a reason to be alone with you without making her feel sleazy.


Ok that's it for now. I'm leaving out a lot of details but this should get you started. If things don't seem to be going well and you figure it's time to bail, ask her if she wants to make out. Yes I am serious. Even if you screwed something up badly there is always a chance that she still wants to bang you. What would you have to lose at that point? Sometimes the answer will be "No" Anything other than that either means "Yes" or "Not yet".

One of my craziest ads yet!

I was thinking of ways to really get a reaction with my Craigslist personal ads. One benefit of posting free ads is that you really have little to lose. Take that and the desire to meet real women online and your brain starts to come up with creative ways to make that happen.

I decided to see how far I could push the envelope and came up with what I consider one of my most outrageous ads ever. Now I realize that one could create something with more shock value but let's remember that we are trying to meet real women online, not repel them. So how far can we go? Well, this is what I created, posted, and got some very interested responses to.



Keep in mind that most women feel that they could lose a few pounds even if they are not necessarily overweight...

"Lose weight while you date!"

"Ladies how would you like to stay in shape, meet someone who could become your potential mate, and participate in a study on the effects of rigorous sex on weight loss?

Yes this is a real ad. I am completely serious and not looking to just "hook up" for random sex. I have created a program that I believe can help people enjoy life more, stay in shape, and possibly sell a lot of books.

No your identity will not be revealed to anyone. There will be some before and after photos but your face will not be included anywhere without your permission.

Reply with a recent photo and brief bio for more information."


For the follow up I explained the details of the program as far as the when, where, and how often etc. Would you believe that I actually got responses from real women? I was blown away. It wasn't a lot but yes, there are some very horny women out there who expressed an interest in this program. Not many of them were all that attractive but most were willing and one in particular was hot enough that I decided to have an "audition" for her.

Be creative and see what you can come up with. Most importantly be different and you will generate interest. Have fun out there.

POF Meet Me

Next time you are sitting in front of your computer with nothing to do, check out the Meet Me section of Plenty of Fish. It's sort of like rate my face but with a better chance of meeting someone. I decided to experiment with the feature and it's a pretty cool way to save some time and increase the number of women that you will be chatting with. Much easier than pasting your reply into a bunch of profiles. A lot of them won't answer you but some will. The good news is that a reply is an indication that she is open to getting to know you a bit more.



Speaking of, I have been using POF a lot more lately and while it has it's challenges and complications (like women you are dating asking why you're still active so often) it is a great way to put yourself in a more proactive position than Craigslist. I have had some women send me messages on POF but I have to say that most of them I wasn't really interested in. That's the difference here. You have to contact the attractive women first as opposed to Craigslist where hot women will contact you although there is just so much spam in between.

If you haven't done so already do yourself a favor and make a profile on POF and OKCupid. They are both free and you will find plenty of women on both.

I added a search box to the blog. This was done for my own convenience because honestly I don't remember half of what I've posted and I'm trying not to repeat myself. Maybe you guys will find it useful too. Hopefully you've read my previous posts about the basics of pulling dates out of Craigslist. I haven't updated much here lately because I'm working on a way to better organize the information here. Most of what you need to know about meeting more women than you can handle is already here, just not in any particular order. Once I get everything together I promise everyone who is on the email list a free copy of the materials which will most like be in the form of an ebook.

Why some women can't get laid

I found this posted in a forum a while back. It was titled something like pick-up lines for women. There are actually a couple of good lines here but most of them suck pretty bad. Girls, don't make these mistakes. You either guys. I'll comment with my thoughts for each.

At a sports bar: "What's the most impressive goal you've ever scored in a game?"
Ok this might work if the guy happens to be/was a jock. True guys do like to talk about their accomplishments. Just make sure to change the subject soon because the topic doesn't really lead anywhere on it's own.

At a club: "I dare you to show me your moonwalk."
Kinda funny but not really. If he does show you a bad example are you going to feel more attracted to him? I see the point about being able to have fun but I'd prefer that the guy gets the girl to moonwalk instead. Now that is entertaining.

At a restaurant bar: "They have the best nachos here. Ever tried 'em?"
Boring.

At a friend's party: "I wanted to talk to you the second I got here, but no one introduced me. So I'm introducing myself."
I like this! You are making no excuses and getting right to the point even if you hesitated at first. Very direct. Use it.

At the laundromat: "I'm bored. What do you normally do when your underwear is drying?"
This would make me laugh. A lot of guys would go pervert though so be careful. You might not like the answer. For a guy to ask this he should have a good read on her at first. Otherwise he will sound like a perv.

At the park: "Any ideas on how to turn this blanket into a Twister board? I really want to play."
Too sexual. Ask me this only if you really do want to play. Naked.

At a baseball game: "I bet you a post-game drink that (insert player's name) will hit a home run this inning."
During a conversation sure. As an opener a bit much. That's the first thing out of your mouth? Who TF are you?

At the gym: "You look like you know your way around this place. Where's that machine that works your glutes?"
Really. You want to invite butt comments this soon? I hope you are ready for the response.

On the beach: "I bet you're wondering how I avoid tan lines."
Lame.

Catchy headline- Do you need one?

This applies to just about any personals site. I recommend that you use one or more of the free sites since most of the subscription based ones are full of fake profiles. A lot of them also censor your profile. I tried a couple of them quite a while back and one of the most frustrating things about the likes of Match, Yahoo personals, eharmony, etc. was that they just didn't get my sense of humor. The other thing that I noticed was the huge amount of fake female profiles. I don't want to say how I figured it out because that would allow them to take further steps to mislead tens of thousands of men into believing that the pictures you see in their advertisements are real women. Anyways, take my word for this:

Rule #1-attractive women don't need to pay to meet men but a lot of them will try a free site just for the hell of it.


A lot of what I have read places great emphasis on having a catchy headline. In my experience however this is not a big deal. The reason given for having a great headline is because it will "Get her attention." This absolutely works on Craigslist when we post in the M4W section because it's easy for a casual user to wander into that section in the same way that women like to go shopping. However when it comes to personals sites things seem to work a bit differently. While it might be true that some women do look through dating site profiles trying to find a date, it appears to be much less common here. From what I have seen and heard, the fact that you can be contacted once you have created a profile radically changes the dynamic. Once a cute girl posts her picture she will be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of guys trying to talk to her. No need to browse profiles unless... no one is trying to contact her! (See rule #1) Attractive women will take the time to create a profile because let's face it, this is a self indulging activity. But once she submits her profile hordes of men will be trying to get her attention. I am not saying that there aren't a few worthy women out there looking but they are the exception rather than the rule. Play the numbers and concentrate on a quality profile and first contact email. Don't sweat the headline too much. It is overrated.

If you are at a loss for ideas, google quotes from songs that you like, famous people, or philosophers. Try to choose something that won't put anyone off but something that you agree with. Remember it's not a big deal but in the interest of results I suggest that you choose something with a positive message, inspiration, or "seize the day" theme. It's hard for anyone to have a problem with this kind of stuff. If she does, you probably wouldn't want to meet her anyways.

Plenty of Fish Update

In the last week I have met up with four VERY attractive women from plenty of fish. While the success ratio for going from email to meeting up is about the same as Craigslist, the spam to real female ratio is 1,000 times better! In fact I've had a near perfect record when it comes to NOT being contacted by bots/guys posing as women. If you haven't already done so, get to work on your profile now! You can duplicate it on OKCupid so you'll be on two sites for the price of one... F.R.E.E.

For those of you who prefer the anonymity of Craigslist I understand completely. Just know that crossing over the line and posting a profile with your photo can potentially multiply your success rate like you wouldn't believe. If you happen to be one of those who does not photograph well then you might not want to go this route but... if there is any doubt in your mind or you don't want local girls to see you on a dating site just try posting in a different location. It's worth a try and if you get good results you might decide to post closer to home. Consider it practice at the very least.

I'm working on an outline that will help you put together an effective profile if you don't already have one. It's easy for me to write about myself but creating a sort of "template" for others to work from is a little bit tricky since I don't know the person that will be writing it. I'm going to spend some time identifying what seems to be working consistently so that others will be able to duplicate my method for POF and OKCupid. In the mean time you should at least open accounts at both sites and get familiar with the features that they offer. Between this and Craigslist you will be able to meet more women than you have time for. More coming soon...

No more verification widget

Just a quick note guys:

I removed the protected content widget so that no one has to fill out any forms to access the blog at least for the time being. I have also added a newsletter form at the top right hand section of the page. Anything that I feel is of significant value to a limited number of users will now be delivered via email instead of being posted here. To make a long story short too much public knowledge of my methods will make them less effective. Therefore if you haven't already done so, sign up for my newsletter today!

Vegetarians

Wow women can be strange. Ok let's be fair so can men but in different ways...

Last week I followed up on an email from a woman not too far from where I am. Her picture looked great, she passed my spam check and everything seemed to be going fine until we started joking around. She made a reference to the amount of spam (the meat) consumed by Hawaiians in relation to the amount of email spam on Craigslist. I told her that I just so happened to be eating Hawaiian BBQ for dinner. She asked if I was kidding or just trying to make conversation and I should have picked up on the hint. No I wasn't kidding, I really was having Lau Lau Pork and rice for dinner. I didn't hear from her until the next day when she told me that we probably wouldn't get along since she is a vegetarian. Ooops I guess I should have caught that earlier. I don't care what she eats and it literally made me laugh when I heard her say that. Anyways whatever but there is a lesson to be learned here. Pay attention to the subtle stuff. When she says "Are you really X, or were you just kidding?" It's probably better to be kidding at least for the moment.

A wise friend once told me something that has helped me over the last ten years. If you have bad habits or things that she might find unattractive keep them to yourself until sleep with her. At that point she will rationalize why it's ok. Before that they will act as a deterrent. Women are very good at this by the way. You rarely find out about her problems until later on. If it's ok for them to conceal unattractive qualities then why shouldn't we?

Stupid e-whores

Geez I can't believe how obvious these guys are. This is one of the lamest attempts at internet marketing that I've ever seen:

#SENDER_FNAME# I'm glad you mailed me back. I was worried that you were just another spam bot on CL. Anyway, Im actually sending this from my new blackberry at my friends house cause my stupid internet is out right now. So, Im sorry if I dont answer your questions right away, but Im still getting used to using this thing. But...Yes, Im real, and Im excited for a few days off from work. Im a curvy Italian girl who loves sex, I have a great phone sex voice, lol. I live alone in a condo close to downtown. What Im looking for is someone to have a few drinks with and then hopefully that will lead to a lot more erotic stuff. Im into handcuffs, being spanked and I love watching dirty videos. Although, some tame stuff can be good too. I'm actually off of work today till Febuary 16th so Im wanting to hook up soon. Mabey we could meet at my place for a few drinks sometime this week?

I approach dating just like I approach sex, safely. Better to be protected cause who knows whats out there. So heres your invite here Its NOT a dating site. It only has real peoples phone numbers and addresses. Plus, doesnt charge you, which is good cause Im still broke from my sisters birthday lol! My cell number is listed so give me a ring or send a text. Id prefer a call cause hearing your voice would be way better. Plus, I dont have internet at home, so I cant email back and forth later on, just call me. Lets get something going, its been a while for me. Looking forward to hearing your voice :)
- Jessica

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

As you can see he screwed up his wordspin program by including some of the coding "#SENDER_FNAME#" which is supposed to insert a name automatically. Secondly the "I am real" part is a dead giveaway indicating that he is not a real female. Then of course the inevitable "So heres your invite here Its NOT a dating site." Um right. Why would I got to a site rather than contacting you directly? Nice touch there at the end though trying to make it look like you posted from your Blackberry... except that kinda eliminates the problem of not having internet at home though huh? Do guys really fall for this stuff? Maybe I'm in the wrong business.

"The thing I miss most is sex."

Thursday night I met a girl for dinner. I don't like doing dinner dates the first time meeting someone normally. The exception for this is when it will fulfill her requirements of justification. (I will talk about this concept in a separate post.) In this situation it was the best course of action. After using my specific description post on Craig's list I met another woman who is exactly my "type." Well one of my types anyways. There was the usual smalltalk back and forth via e-mail and then we actually chatted on IM which is something that I usually don't do either. Due to the geographic limitations caused by her living a good hour and a half from me I decided that I would rather invest some time chatting with her then drive that far and end up disappointed.

During the instant messaging there was some light sex themed conversation however it never got too detailed nor too personal. The most important thing about the conversation was a statement that she made. I made a remark in regards to her enthusiasm and her response was "Is it that obvious?" At that point it actually was obvious and she was admitting to being very anxious to meet me. While photos are one thing a woman's motivations often come more from the state that she feels at any particular moment. The state of this woman was lonely.

So we meet in the restaurant. As usual I insisted that she sit next to me at the table rather than across from me. I told her about how in some cultures sitting across from someone at a table is considered confrontational. I was not in the mood for confrontation. During the meal we started talking about dating after ending a relationship. She told me she had been divorced for awhile. Then she proceeded to tell me that the thing that she missed most about dating or being in a relationship was sex. It was an obvious statement so shortly after we went back to my place.

I wish that I could transcribe the entire conversation from beginning to end. But even if I could I have to say that I wouldn't make it public. I respect privacy and expect it. So notice that there were two things that happened both being indications of her loneliness and craving for intimate companionship. Outside of that I can't say that I did anything spectacular in the way of seduction. There was the usual minor resistance that one would encounter when being with a woman for the first time. I typically treat this with disinterest initially and then with slow minor advances. If she wants to make up her mind to do something she will on her own. I don't believe in any sort of coercion and have never observed a scene where it would be helpful.

I'll spare you the graphic details and hopefully I've gleaned some useful information for you from my experience. I'm working on something that should make everyone's online dating experience more productive. Keep an eye on upcoming posts.

"It's whats inside that counts"

Last week I tried something for the first time. After posting Part 2 on my blog I had a thought. Have you noticed how women often look a lot better in photos than they do in person? Well of course the skilled hands of a photographer make all the difference in the world sooo...

I happened to know someone who takes pictures for a living. I traded him a brief photo shoot for some dating advice and decided to experiment. For the first time ever, I posted a real photo of myself in the Craigslist personals.

If you've read my earlier blog posts you already know that I strongly discourage this for many different reasons. First off unless you are exceptionally good looking, you are putting your cards on the table before she gets to know you. No matter how cool a guy you are, if a woman decides that she's not attracted to you based on looks you are in for a steep climb my friends. Secondly, you risk having people that you know thinking that you are desperate for a date. As far as that goes I could care less and so should you but you may have other things to consider like your employer, clergy or maybe a wife or girlfriend (shame on you, lol) finding out. That could make ones life difficult especially if you are married. Third and most important in my opinion is the fact that you are kind of limited as far as multiple posts go. I doubt you will get many replies if they notice that you are spamming CL.

So all that considered, here's what I did. First I got a really flattering picture of myself. Remember I am basically an average looking guy. Next I did some touching up. Hey women do it all the time on their Facebook pages so why shouldn't we? There's a pretty cool photo editing site that is free where you can upload and fix your photos without having to get a damned college degree to use it like you would with photoshop. (Okay I'm not that smart either.) The site is called picnik.com. Check it out. They have a $5 per month memebership that lets you get some cool advanced editing features too.

So after I had removed some wrinkles, gave myself a bit of a tan and softened the image my results were amazing. I looked like I could have been in a magazine! I was still quite recognizably myself though and wanted to remain anonymous. Posting in another location seemed like the best way to test my results without having any of my small town friends find me. I chose two distant cities and posted two of my better ads...

What happened next will surprise you. I will tell you next week so now lets talk about what to do on the second date... HAHA, just kidding! I won't do that to you this time.

I got two real responses within a few hours along with the usual amount of spam. One was actually kind of rude. I used my "Requirement" ad and the response I got was from someone who felt that I should basically lower my standards and not be so shallow. "After all it's what is on the inside that counts." Uhuh, hmmm... I got lucky and easily cross referenced her email to the FB account of one very chunky, very homely single girl from Dallas. What a surprise eh?

The second response, from a different ad, was from a very cute girl next door type from Ohio. She took the time to answer all of my questions and write in great detail about herself including the fact that she was 5'9" and did not play basketball. I had mentioned liking tall girls in the ad. Wow, I'm looking at her pic right now. If only I wasn't so far away...

But alas, I am not setting out to break any hearts. I pulled the ads right away. My experiment had gone far enough. I know what I am capable of.

Anyhow for whatever it's worth I hope that you find this information helpful in your search(s). Get a great photo of yourself, follow my guidelines for posting and I am confident that you will see some results. Feel free to write me about your experiences and if you consent to it I will post some of them here.

My date with a celebrity Part 2

I can't believe that it's been almost a month since I posted. From now on you have my word that posts will be more frequent. It's a little hard to juggle life, work and chasing women let alone writing about it but I will do my best...

I am getting pretty good at predicting how any particular meet might go after talking to a woman on the phone for a few minutes. It really is amazing how much you can learn about someone in a short period of time if you pay attention. The problem for a lot of guys is that paying attention to her can be a difficult thing when you are nervous, preoccupied, trying too hard to impress her or otherwise just screwing things up. It will get easier with time and experience I promise you. I will also write up some posts regarding female psychology soon. Hang in there if you are having a hard time with it. The payoff is well worth the effort!

So where were we? I believe I left off just before my date with a local celebrity so here goes:

I had sent my phone number to "Liza" after a few brief emails. As I mentioned previously my CL posting was for a very specific physical type and she had replied with photos and "I have to find out what you are about." Good sign. At this point I had to continue demonstrating my preference for her type while keeping my "game on" in light of her accomplishments.

I spoke to her briefly (small talk) and suggested that we meet the following evening. She asked me what I was doing tonight since she was busy tomorrow night. While I do recommend not being too available or easy, let me note that when a woman wants to a) see you b) kiss you c) sleep with you it is in your best interest to cooperate if you are interested in her. There are some exceptions to this rule but remember another thing about Craigslist women- they are lonely. (That means horny too.)

I told her that I would make some time and suggested a place close to my house where I knew a lot of people. It's great when everyone knows your name as long as they aren't the type to get you in trouble with other girls...

I recognized her and waved her over when she came in. I had purposely started a conversation with a very attractive cocktail waitress friend of mine. Being seen with hot girls is always a good thing as it gives you credibility and puts otherwise apprehensive women at ease. Do this whenever possible. As a matter of fact, you know that one hot girl that just wants to be friends? She is perfect for this role.

So I offer to get the first round and she orders tequila. Sweet, it's gonna be a great night! "Patron please" Oops. I almost spilled my own drink. $15 bucks a shot. Ok this better go really well and I have to get her out of there ASAP at least to a place that won't drain my wallet in record time.

We sat down and chatted for a bit. Most of the conversation is of little consequence other than the factors which led to us having a whole lot of fun which I will describe briefly.

1. During our conversation a girl at the next table over gave me a compliment on my shoes. Dress sharp! It helps.

2. At one point in the conversation she implied that she could have any guy that she wanted. I told her that this was not the case with me and she took it the wrong way. Usually women like her see this as a challenge. She did not and instead told me that we would not be having sex anytime soon. I had to backpedal in order to make it happen.

To this day I am not sure if the latter was a result of her not having as much self esteem as I had assumed or if she wanted to demonstrate that she was in control. Either way the correct course of action was for me to apologize for being so cocky which she accepted graciously. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride to make progress. I've been around way too long to be stubborn.

After another shot of tequila and the tab ($75 with tip) we were off to my place.

I hope that the reader will not be disappointed that there is no Penthouse forum ending here. In fact I had the most phenomenal sex that I have ever had in my life that night. However, I want this blog to remain PG and do not wish to risk compromising my or anyone's lurid details. Let me just say that I experienced things I'd never done before that night and I have always considered myself worldly when it comes to sex. Wow! Simply unforgettable. We didn't sleep that night despite the fact that I had to work the next day. I was a total zombie at the job but it was more than worth it. Good thing I don't operate heavy machinery.

I have to say that this woman knew how to play the game as well as if not better than anyone I've ever met before. The next day she had sent me some pictures of herself in the nude (without her face showing.) Very hot. I purposely didn't call her for a few days but only texted instead. For whatever reason she wasn't as enthusiastic with her responses after day 3 and I had another date set up. Long story short we lost contact and both got involved with other people for a few weeks. Once I was ready to see her again she was already in a relationship. Not what I'm looking for but if I was I'd have to say that she would have been a candidate. We are still friends on a popular social network so that's interesting. So is the fact that I found her nude pics a weeks ago while surfing for porn. Don't ask where because you know that I'm not going to divulge that info. Any other questions I will be happy to answer here so ask away.

Until next time...

My date with a celebrity Part 1

A few weeks ago I put up one of my shortest, shallowest, and to the point ads ever and got EXACTLY what I wanted.

Now the strange thing about Craigslist is that you really never know what will work until you try it. For this reason I always encourage people to experiment and once in a while try just saying exactly what's on your mind. Now that doesn't mean just post "I want sex." Sure you could try that but the problem with it isn't what you probably think. It's ok to want sex but realize that women looking at the personals already know that most guys come out of the womb wanting sex.. well practically. So that statement doesn't really set you apart at all.

What does the trick sometimes is making the person on the other end feel like you want in a woman exactly what she has. Think about that for a minute. Have you ever read a job description and thought "That's me!" Hopefully it has happened but regardless here is what went down when I decided to request a very specific "type."

REDHEAD WANTED..

That was the exact title that I used. I went on in my description to explain that I realized how it sounded shallow and that I didn't care. A brief description of what I liked about red heads followed and that was it. It was literally one paragraph long.

The responses were varied but there were quite a few to choose from. As usual I ignored everything that came through without a photo, passed on the less attractive ones (funny thing about true red heads, most are either very hot or ugly as sin, not much in between) and ended up with three finalists. For some reason one of them looked very familiar but I didn't think much of it at first.

After sending my standard response which I will post in a private area soon, it hit me. The girl I recognized was a local minor celebrity! Imagine that. Someone who is hot, semi famous, and single is on Craigslist looking for a date! I had to think this one out a bit. Should I proceed as usual or was some special treatment required for a woman of this caliber?

Now most guys would be extra nice to any hot girl but we all know that doesn't work. Too many nice guys boring the hot women to sleep. No. I decided to play it the opposite way. Now I don't mean I would treat her badly, I just wasn't going to chase her or try to impress with money or favors. Obviously a woman like her gets that stuff from every other guy out there. My plan was to play hard to get...

An email is worth a thousand words

Something interesting hit my inbox today. It was a response from an obviously real woman. One easy way to determine the authenticity of a reply is whether it came from a subscription based account. For example if you get something from a person with earthlink.net at the end of their address, chances are it's legit. The vast majority of gmail live.com and yahoo mail accounts are coming from e-whores. I'll cover this more later including more sophisticated ways to avoid them.

She sent a description, her picture, and as luck might have it her real name in the signature. Most of you already know this but google a person's name and you can learn a whole lot about them. That is if they are someone. Well turns out she is. I found out just a while ago that this was an oversight on her part. Sometimes it can be intentional though. There's a great article on why people can't seem to resist putting their real life info on everything that they do online. I'll try to find it later.

Anyways, long story short she works for a government agency. Not surprisingly, her salary information among other interesting details are all available to the public. She was very surprised that I knew her last name when we spoke on the phone. I did tell her how I knew and she didn't seem upset by it just a little surprised.

She is well educated and makes quite a good living. She could be the one!

Classic mistakes

I'm posting ads for a couple of friends at the moment. Right now there are just too many girls that I am following up with myself so I figured why not do my buddies a favor. Before putting up any ads I always browse the category and location to see what I'm up against. Never hurts to know your competition. It's interesting how most of the guys posting to CL make the same mistakes. Here's an example of what not to do and why. My comments in italics.

Title- My name is Eric whats yours?

How exciting. You have one shot at grabbing her attention and standing out in the crowd and you offer... your name. Ok I don't want to sound harsh but remember my post about the restaurant sign? Well unless she already knows who Eric is and why he is so cool NOBODY CARES! Your name will rarely attract or intrigue her unless you put some sort of creative spin on it. Use a headline that says something. (Ask me privately for examples.)

Body-

THIS IS A REAL AD.....

Really? As opposed to what a fake ad? But couldn't a fake ad say the same thing?

I am looking to find a cool girl that has the same interests as I do and I hope to hit it off with her as friends or more. I enjoy taking the boat to the lake, B.B.Q. ing, camping, off-roading, entertaining friends at the house, watching a good fight on t.v., bowling, beer, etc.

So far the best, if not most exciting part about your ad. If she got this far then the previous sentence will go over decent.

I am vey laid back not into crowds so much. Please respond with a photo thanks for taking the time to read my posting I hope to get a good response.

Well this last part doesn't really communicate anything but I suppose it serves as a courtesy. What is vey? Always spell check!

Here's where, despite this eloquently written masterpiece, ahem... he blows it completely.

NOTICE! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR WEB CAM, I WILL NOT GO TO ANY OTHER SITE TO CHAT WITH YOU, I WILL ONLY RESPOND TO EMAIL, I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A PROSTITUTE OR TO PAY MONEY FOR YOUR TIME, AND PLEASE SEND A PHOTO IF YOU RESPOND THANK YOU.

Ok dude word of advice. Never, and I mean never bitch about porn, hookers, cams or anything else that does not involve your REAL prospects. Bots don't read your messages so the only person who does is a girl who might be considering replying to you. What is the point of telling her how much you hate... well, anything? I am telling you from experience that virtually every post I have ever made containing this type of complaining gets little to no response from anyone except for spammers. Don't bother. Read my defeating spam post instead.

The first date

First off I want to update one very important piece of information. Over the last two months I have seen a decrease in the signal to noise ratio in the responses to my personal ads on CL. I am not getting fewer legitimate responses, just consistently more spam. Last year I would get roughly 40% real women responding. Now it is closer to 25%. That is a BIG difference. Setup those filters and follow my anti-spam posts if you want to save yourself a lot of time. The good news is that meeting 3-4 real, attractive, and qualified women per week is absolutely realistic. You'll just need to have the time to actually meet with them and...

Know what to do next

I'm gonna skip the email and telephone steps for now and write about that later. For those of you who have been asking, here it is... my game plan for the first date after finding a worthy prospect.

I advise against the traditional "date" as far as buying dinner or going to a movie because, well it's just kind of lame not to mention expensive at times. It also sets up way too many expectations for both people. Don't get me wrong. Buying a girl a drink when you meet up with her is fine. Just stay away from the idea that you have to pay for everything or plan some elaborate evening to impress her. The purpose of meeting is so that you can decide whether or not to proceed towards whatever your intended outcome may be. I don't care if you're looking for a girlfriend, a wife, or a one night stand. In the short term, you follow the same steps in order to become acquainted with her. My first meets run me about $25. They are short and sweet and in my experience leave her wanting more. This is a good thing.

Decide on a location. It can be a lounge, coffee shop, mall... whatever makes you feel comfortable. Just avoid noisy environments. Plan on spending up to an hour or so unless it seems imperative that you invest more time. It's ok and in fact preferable that you have other places to go and people to see and that is why you structure the meeting this way. You are a busy guy with important things to do. Next time you meet her (should you choose to) you may allow more time but don't wear out your welcome on the first night or make it seem like this is a big deal to you. Don't tell her that you are screening her but in fact you should be. By that I don't mean asking twenty questions about her background. Find out a little about her and talk about something that you feel passionately about. Some physical contact is good but don't take too many liberties. If she reciprocates, fine. Otherwise try to be aware of when it's a good time to back off. Make her laugh. A sense of humor is very attractive and eases the tension. I don't mean tell her a bunch of jokes but rather point out the funny things about life or your environment without coming across as negative. Trust me, women are nervous about first dates too whether they act like it or not. She may even behave in a standoffish way as a defense. Resist the temptation to act the same way toward her. Be assured and confident in yourself without acting cocky.

Cut the date short before she does. It's an old strategy but it works wonders to this day. Tell her that you really enjoyed her company and will contact her in the near future so that you can spend more time together.

Start thinking about what skills you possess that can be demonstrated on your next meeting. Are you a great dancer? Can you cook? Play an instrument? Next time you see her, make it in an environment where you can demonstrate this skill without looking like you are trying to show off...

Always post two ads simultaneousy (CL)

Even if one of them is a complete "dummy" ad that expects few or no responses. In fact, make one purposely bad and post it along with your legitimate ad. This will allow you to easily recognize the bots that automatically respond to every single post. When you see two responses in your mailbox that look identical, you can be certain that no one ever actually read what you posted and you can just hit the "This is Spam" button.